It’s still been going very well on 10mg of Celexa and 50mg Trazodone. I have reduced the Benadryl to 1.5 instead of two. I have no trouble falling or staying asleep and usually feel very rested after 8-9 hours. This weekend I didn’t even sleep in. I used to go back to sleep for 2-3 hours after waking up after the first 8 hours, but I decided not to do that anymore.

Sleeping like a baby since I went back to 50mg of trazodone  :-)

I missed a few days writing. Wednesday night I did not take any Trazodone. I figured that 12.5mg didn’t help and 6mg didn’t help, so what difference would it make if I didn’t take any? Well, Wednesday night I slept from about 9:30pm – 11:00pm and I was awake the entire rest of the night. I tried watching tv, playing solitaire on my phone, reading the news on my phone, listening to sleep music, jesse laid by me for a while, I cried, nothing helped. I held out hope that I would fall back asleep around 4:30am as I had been doing for a while. Around 5am I gave up and went to the bed to at least lay by Jesse for a while before I had to get up, but nothing helped. I didn’t get any sleep. I didn’t actually feel all that tired on Thursday, but I did feel like a crabby monster and virtually everything made me feel like the world was ending and I wanted to cry. I also felt really nauseous several times at work. Later in the day I started to get the pains in my legs that I get when I don’t sleep. I resigned myself to going back on Trazodone and took 50mg that night. I fell asleep just before 9pm and slept all night until 6am. I got up once or twice to pee but fell right back asleep. Friday and Saturday nights we were up at the cabin. I initially took 50mg Friday night but had trouble falling asleep because I wasn’t able to read or anything before I laid down so I got up and took another 25mg. I slept almost 12 hours. It was divine. Saturday night I went back to 50mg and slept 10 hours. Also divine. Sunday night I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I ordered a big root beer float at dinner, not realizing that it had caffeine in it and also because I slept so much on the weekend. I fell asleep reading. Woke up once to pee and went right back to sleep. Slept til alarm went off at 6am. Tomorrow we will see the doctor to find out if I can take these pills while pregnant. I think I could live with taking just 25mg if I got pregnant because I can usually get a few good nights of sleep each week with that, but anything less than that is unbearable. I have no idea what I will do if he says I won’t be able to take these pills because I just plain can’t sleep without them and I can’t live without sleep. I don’t know if it is “rebound” insomnia and would go away in a few weeks, but I doubt it, because I was off them for a few weeks late last summer and the insomnia never went away no matter what I did or what other kind of other medication I took. Also, it’s not as though I ever have a few weeks to put my life on hold and stop functioning while I don’t sleep at all just to see if it gets better.  

10 mg Celexa

6mg Trazodone

2 benadryl

I haven’t written in a while. Things were going well all the way through 50mg of trazodone. When I switched to 25mg I started having more problems falling and staying asleep. Then I went down to 12.5mg and then I started cutting those in half last night. I haven’t been sleeping well for most of the nights now. If I do fall asleep I wake up fairly soon and then have trouble falling back asleep as I feel very awake. I have been sleeping on the couch almost exclusively for several weeks as when I try to sleep in the bed and can’t it makes it harder for me to get to sleep at all after I move out to the couch. Last night I fell asleep around 10:45pm watching tv. Woke up at 11:30pm and was awake until at least 2:00am. I had finally resigned myself to being awake and put my contacts back in and started reading the news on my phone when I fell back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:00am. I am very tired today and the insomnia is beginning to wear me down. I am going to take 15mg of Celexa tonight and no trazodone. It is hard for me not to view this as a big defeat, as it took me months to get used to taking only 10mg, but at least if I can get off the trazodone I will only be on one medication. I don’t feel depressed in general but on the days when I haven’t gotten enough sleep the night before my mood is definitely a lot worse. Since this is happening more often than not now, my mood is suffering a lot. I don’t have a lot of energy to do the things I want to do and that upsets me.  

Just a note. It has been 5 nights of 75mg trazodone. I have not had any problems sleeping. Yay J

It’s Friday. Last night I went down to 75mg of Trazodone. Things went well at 100 so here’s hoping they go well at 75. I slept fine last night.

Other observations…

I have been starving all week. I had my period this week. I don’t know if that anything to do with it, but I’ve developed a habit of having a coke zero and a bag of microwave popcorn everyday at work. Even with that, many days this week I have been starving on top of that, eating an apple and a zone bar too, which all amounts to twice as many calories as I was eating at work a few weeks ago. I think it might be because of my period, because Monday night I worked out when I was really hungry and therefore was much hungrier afterwards, and also because I think Coke Zero makes me hungry. I will be giving up the coke and popcorn habit next week, but I will need to bring in some sort of snack to replace it because there aren’t very many days when I’m not still starving after only eating 700-900 calories at work all day.

Other than being extremely hungry this week, I have still been in a very good mood in general.

I have been feeling less rested this week than the past few weeks, although I have still be sleeping well. I think it’s because I stayed up too late on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, but also may because I added that caffeine back into my daily routine. For a few weeks there I was feeling really rested after only 7-7.5 hours of sleep and waking up before my alarm everyday. Not so this week. Jesse is convinced that I have sleep apnea because of my breathing at night. Who knows…

Normally Sunday I would be starting a new pack of bc pills but I am going off the pill. I wonder if I will notice any changes because of that.

It’s been a week since I went down to 100mg of Trazodone. Overall I have been sleeping well and still in a very good mood, but there were two nights I didn’t sleep well. I don’t know that this had much to do with the change in meds though. Sunday night I was really tired after boating and fell asleep on the couch watching TV around 8-9pm. I got up and tried to go bed when Jesse woke me up. I felt really tired so I tried to fall asleep without watching tv, but my mind starting going about whatever random things popped into and I couldn’t fall asleep. Also, I felt really bloated and kept having to get up and pee. Maybe this was the radishes I ate earlier? I have no idea. I turned the tv back on and watched true blood, but still didn’t feel sleepy. I ended up going back out to the couch and watching tv and playing solitaire on my phone for a while and then I fell asleep. Wednesday night I also had trouble sleeping, but that was because I woke up when I started to feel extremely nauseous in my sleep. The sudden wave of nausea is what woke me up. I had trouble falling back to sleep after that because feeling nauseous all of the sudden like that made me feel anxious, plus I felt like I couldn’t turn on the tv in the middle of the night since it would wake Jesse. I played on my phone a little (this iphone has been really useful!) but still didn’t get sleepy. I laid there for about an hour and a half and then went out to the couch, watched some true blood and played on my phone, and fell back to sleep around 4:30am. Needless to say, getting up at 6am sucked and I was very tired and cranky all day on Thursday. I went to bed about 8:15pm, slept til about 10:30pm, got up to take out my contacts and pee and went right back to sleep. I got up once more to pee during the night. Woke up at 5am feeling totally rested. Went back to sleep til my alarm went off at 6:05am and then hit snooze once.

I think those two nights were kind of due to strange circumstances, but all the same I have been making an effort not to fall asleep on the couch before going to bed. Hopefully it will continue to go well. It seems to be going well in general. On another note, I have lost 5.2 pounds since 6/20/11, which I think is pretty darn good considering I have had many cheat days and haven’t been exercising at all. I plan to work some exercise back into my daily routine soon.