Friday. I slept well again last night. Yay! Even woke up a couple minutes before my alarm today.  It has been a week on 5mg of Celexa. I slept well 5 nights and crappy 3 nights. It’s going better than it was last fall.

Thursday. I was really tired and cranky last night, but I went to bed about 8:15pm and read for about 15 minutes. I actually put my book down and went to sleep, rather than falling asleep reading it. I slept all night! I got up once to pee and went right back to sleep. I slept 9 hours. YIPPPPPEEEEE!

Wednesday. I was really tired yesterday but I worked out after work and tried to be productive. I made the pineapple/jicama salad that I wanted to make and watched some TV with Jesse. I went to bed around 9:30pm and played games on my phone til I fell asleep. I just finished the book I was reading and I always find it hard to start a new book after finishing one that I like, so I didn’t want to read. I slept from about 10:00pm – 10:40, then I woke up in a panic again. Fortunately at least I wasn’t drenched in sweat because I slept in a tshirt instead of a sweatshirt, only used one blanket, and unplugged my heated mattress pad, but I still just felt like I had to get out that room when I woke up and go do something else to relax. So I woke Jesse up on the couch and he went to bed and I watched Seinfeld and played more games on phone for about an hour until I turned everything off about midnight and then I slept til 5:55am. It wasn’t as easy to relax again as it was the night before. This weekend we are going to buy a TV for the bedroom so hopefully can watch tv to relax in there. I feel tired, crabby, and discouraged. It is going better than it did last fall when I tried this, and sleeping 6 hours a night is a lot better than the 1-2 hours I was getting last fall, but this is really hard. It took me 3 months to be able to sleep normal again when I went from 15 – 10mg of Celexa, and I guess now I can probably expect it to take that long going from 10mg to 5mg. After that I’ll have to go from 5mg to 0mg, and then start working on the trazodone. At this rate I don’t think we’ll be able to try for a baby until I hit menopause :-(

Tuesday. I was really exhausted last night of course and I went to bed about 9:30pm. I played chess on my phone and read for a little bit and then turned off the light and fell asleep, but about an hour later I woke up drenched in sweat and in kind of a panic. I had to get out of the room. I got up and took over the living room, laid on the couch watching Seinfeld and downloading apps for my phone. I felt better after I got my mind off sleeping. I was able to turn off the tv and go back to sleep around 12:30am and I slept til my alarm went off at 5:55am. I feel better than yesterday but still tired of course. I plan to run tonight so hopefully that will help me sleep. I haven’t worked out the past two nights. I don’t know if that makes a difference or not.  

Well it’s Monday. I slept well Saturday night but last night was a total bust. I woke up around 11:30pm to pee and Jesse was snoring really loud and I couldn’t go back to sleep. I laid there for what later turned out to be 3 hours (I didn’t check the time until I finally gave in and went out to the living room). Several times I was overcome by feelings of anxiety, like adrenaline washing over me like the feeling I get when I realize I didn’t see a cop sitting there and I was speeding. I started obsessing again about how am I ever going to sleep when we have kids and I can’t sleep with ear plugs and Jesse is still snoring like that. I kept laying awake waiting for him to start snoring again. I wanted to read but I didn’t want to turn on the light and wake him up and I wanted to try listening to my sleep music but I also didn’t want to wake him up and was afraid to take out my earplugs to hear the music because then I would hear the snoring more. Eventually I got up and went to the couch and started crying, then I read for a while. Last time I looked at the clock it was a little after 3:00am. Needless to say I was very tired when my alarm went off at 5:55am.  

Ok well it's Saturday (I was gonna say morning but I guess it's afternoon now, almost evening for that matter). I have slept very well the last two nights even with having reducing the celexa to 5mg. Both nights I went to bed early (I have been working out pretty hard this week and it's been making me tired). Both nights I slept about 9 hours and woke up feeling rested, but both mornings I went back to sleep for a while. I have even been able to fall right back to sleep after being woken up at night, Thursday night at about 1am by Jesse's phone beeping with a low battery, and last night by Jesse calling while he was out. Hopefully I will be able to transition well completely off the Celexa. 5mg is not much so hopefully going from 5mg to 0mg will go well. I plan to try it in a month, probably right before Memorial Day weekend as a I have a long weekend off from work then. Love the new mattress!

Dear Sleep Blog.

We got the new bed on Monday. I slept so-so on Monday night, but I think that was because I slept in too late on Monday morning (I had the day off). I had been tired from staying up past 1:00am for several nights before that, so I slept late. Then I worked out hard around 4:00pm - 5:00pm and had kind of a hard time winding down, plus I was a little anxious about going back to work after vacation. I did go to bed in the bed though. I felt like I wasn't sleeping, like I was still just thinking and then I got kind of startled and went looking for Jesse to tell him I wasn't sleeping. I thought he was in the living room but turns out he had already come to bed. I think that might've been what startled me but I didn't know it. I told him I wasn't sleeping but he said that was bullshit because I had been snoring. Either way I didn't feel like I had been sleeping. I did fall into a deeper sleep later but of course I was tired when I woke up. Also because I didn't even try to go to bed until after I should have considering I had to get up at 5:20am. But, Tuesday night I went to bed and fell asleep reading. I even woke up to pee and saw that my reading stuff was strewn all over the bed and the lamp was still on but I didn't even care, I just laid down and went right back to sleep. I ahd gone to bed about 9pm then. Last night (Wednesday) I went to bed to read around 8:30, read for a while, and then decided to go to sleep. I fell asleep right away and slept like a baby all night. I even woke up a while before my alarm went off and felt rested. That hasn't happened for a long time. When I slept on the couch I generally never work up feeling rested before the alarm. Oh and since I've gone back in the bedroom I have unplugged the clock and I never check the time when I wake up. I just try to go back to sleep. I could check on my phone or the clock in the bathroom but I don't. I must say, I absolutely love the new mattress. It is snuggly yet firm and my back doesn't hurt at all and I can even sleep on my side without it hurting. I don't have to put pillows under my legs either. It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than that crazy stupid sleep number air bed piece of crap. This new mattress was worth every penny.

So I have still be taking 10mg Celexa, 150mg Trazodone, and 2 benadryl. Tonight I am going to reduce the Celexa to 5mg. I would prefer to wait a week, but this is a long weekend for me and next week would be the only time I could conceivably miss work without causing a minor disaster in the next month or 2, and I don't want to wait that long to make another change, since once I do get off the Celexa completely I will have to start working my way off the Trazodone. I hopeful that this will go well, as really 10mg isn't even a theraputic does of Celexa. However, last time I reduced by 5mg, which was only 30% at the time, I felt really nauseous for like a day and a half. I dont want to have to miss work if that happens again, and this time a mg reduction will be a 50% reduction. Hopefully it won't make me nauseous or not sleep, but just in case I'm going to try it over the weekend.

2nd day back from vacation. Have been sleeping great. Vacation was great, slept well every night :-)

Dear Sleep Blog. I have not slept well for 2 nights. Well, I probably would've slept well on Monday night. I was sound asleep when Jesse woke me up at midnight because he wasn't feeling well. Almost immediately I became extremely nauseous, I'm sure from the 150mg of Trazodone I took at 9pm, and then I had to lay on the bathroom floor for like 15 minutes until I felt well enough to move again. The nausea caused by that trazodone when I wake up like that in the night is completely debilitating. Anyway I didn't fall back asleep until about 4:30am. Last time I looked at the clock was 4:21am. Needless to say, I was completely exhausted yesterday. I planned to go to bed early and tried to sleep at 8pm but couldn't fall asleep. Jesse said I was sleeping for a while but I didn't feel like I slept. Around 10pm I had Jesse turn the tv off. He went in the bedroom with the laptop to watch tv. I still didnt fall asleep and went into the bedroom to lay down and watch tv with him. He fell asleep and I did doze off a little, but kept waking up again. I laid there through 3 episodes of law and order and went back to the couch at about 1:45am. I fell asleep shortly after that. I am so tired today too. When I couldn't sleep it was like I had the same song line running through my head over and over. I have had that problem for as long as i can remember. I did try listening to that sleep music but I had to use my ipod headphones and that was uncomfortable and i could still hear chiquis snoring. even the dog was sleeping. Anyway it did start to help me but I still wasn't sleeping so that's when I got up and went in the bedroom with Jesse. I hope i can sleep tonight.

Hello Monday. I have slept very well the last 3 nights. I have even taken my contacts out and laid down to fall asleep rather than falling asleep watching tv or reading. I had been leaving my contacts in in case I didn’t fall asleep or woke up a lot so that I wouldn’t have to put them back in in order to get up and read or watch tv. But I haven’t had to do that so I started taking them out. Only a few more nights to go sleeping on the couch. Then we leave for vacation and when we get back we will go pick up our new mattress!