It’s still been going very well on 10mg of Celexa and 50mg Trazodone. I have reduced the Benadryl to 1.5 instead of two. I have no trouble falling or staying asleep and usually feel very rested after 8-9 hours. This weekend I didn’t even sleep in. I used to go back to sleep for 2-3 hours after waking up after the first 8 hours, but I decided not to do that anymore.

Sleeping like a baby since I went back to 50mg of trazodone  :-)

I missed a few days writing. Wednesday night I did not take any Trazodone. I figured that 12.5mg didn’t help and 6mg didn’t help, so what difference would it make if I didn’t take any? Well, Wednesday night I slept from about 9:30pm – 11:00pm and I was awake the entire rest of the night. I tried watching tv, playing solitaire on my phone, reading the news on my phone, listening to sleep music, jesse laid by me for a while, I cried, nothing helped. I held out hope that I would fall back asleep around 4:30am as I had been doing for a while. Around 5am I gave up and went to the bed to at least lay by Jesse for a while before I had to get up, but nothing helped. I didn’t get any sleep. I didn’t actually feel all that tired on Thursday, but I did feel like a crabby monster and virtually everything made me feel like the world was ending and I wanted to cry. I also felt really nauseous several times at work. Later in the day I started to get the pains in my legs that I get when I don’t sleep. I resigned myself to going back on Trazodone and took 50mg that night. I fell asleep just before 9pm and slept all night until 6am. I got up once or twice to pee but fell right back asleep. Friday and Saturday nights we were up at the cabin. I initially took 50mg Friday night but had trouble falling asleep because I wasn’t able to read or anything before I laid down so I got up and took another 25mg. I slept almost 12 hours. It was divine. Saturday night I went back to 50mg and slept 10 hours. Also divine. Sunday night I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to sleep because I ordered a big root beer float at dinner, not realizing that it had caffeine in it and also because I slept so much on the weekend. I fell asleep reading. Woke up once to pee and went right back to sleep. Slept til alarm went off at 6am. Tomorrow we will see the doctor to find out if I can take these pills while pregnant. I think I could live with taking just 25mg if I got pregnant because I can usually get a few good nights of sleep each week with that, but anything less than that is unbearable. I have no idea what I will do if he says I won’t be able to take these pills because I just plain can’t sleep without them and I can’t live without sleep. I don’t know if it is “rebound” insomnia and would go away in a few weeks, but I doubt it, because I was off them for a few weeks late last summer and the insomnia never went away no matter what I did or what other kind of other medication I took. Also, it’s not as though I ever have a few weeks to put my life on hold and stop functioning while I don’t sleep at all just to see if it gets better.  

10 mg Celexa

6mg Trazodone

2 benadryl

I haven’t written in a while. Things were going well all the way through 50mg of trazodone. When I switched to 25mg I started having more problems falling and staying asleep. Then I went down to 12.5mg and then I started cutting those in half last night. I haven’t been sleeping well for most of the nights now. If I do fall asleep I wake up fairly soon and then have trouble falling back asleep as I feel very awake. I have been sleeping on the couch almost exclusively for several weeks as when I try to sleep in the bed and can’t it makes it harder for me to get to sleep at all after I move out to the couch. Last night I fell asleep around 10:45pm watching tv. Woke up at 11:30pm and was awake until at least 2:00am. I had finally resigned myself to being awake and put my contacts back in and started reading the news on my phone when I fell back asleep until my alarm went off at 6:00am. I am very tired today and the insomnia is beginning to wear me down. I am going to take 15mg of Celexa tonight and no trazodone. It is hard for me not to view this as a big defeat, as it took me months to get used to taking only 10mg, but at least if I can get off the trazodone I will only be on one medication. I don’t feel depressed in general but on the days when I haven’t gotten enough sleep the night before my mood is definitely a lot worse. Since this is happening more often than not now, my mood is suffering a lot. I don’t have a lot of energy to do the things I want to do and that upsets me.  

Just a note. It has been 5 nights of 75mg trazodone. I have not had any problems sleeping. Yay J

It’s Friday. Last night I went down to 75mg of Trazodone. Things went well at 100 so here’s hoping they go well at 75. I slept fine last night.

Other observations…

I have been starving all week. I had my period this week. I don’t know if that anything to do with it, but I’ve developed a habit of having a coke zero and a bag of microwave popcorn everyday at work. Even with that, many days this week I have been starving on top of that, eating an apple and a zone bar too, which all amounts to twice as many calories as I was eating at work a few weeks ago. I think it might be because of my period, because Monday night I worked out when I was really hungry and therefore was much hungrier afterwards, and also because I think Coke Zero makes me hungry. I will be giving up the coke and popcorn habit next week, but I will need to bring in some sort of snack to replace it because there aren’t very many days when I’m not still starving after only eating 700-900 calories at work all day.

Other than being extremely hungry this week, I have still been in a very good mood in general.

I have been feeling less rested this week than the past few weeks, although I have still be sleeping well. I think it’s because I stayed up too late on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, but also may because I added that caffeine back into my daily routine. For a few weeks there I was feeling really rested after only 7-7.5 hours of sleep and waking up before my alarm everyday. Not so this week. Jesse is convinced that I have sleep apnea because of my breathing at night. Who knows…

Normally Sunday I would be starting a new pack of bc pills but I am going off the pill. I wonder if I will notice any changes because of that.

It’s been a week since I went down to 100mg of Trazodone. Overall I have been sleeping well and still in a very good mood, but there were two nights I didn’t sleep well. I don’t know that this had much to do with the change in meds though. Sunday night I was really tired after boating and fell asleep on the couch watching TV around 8-9pm. I got up and tried to go bed when Jesse woke me up. I felt really tired so I tried to fall asleep without watching tv, but my mind starting going about whatever random things popped into and I couldn’t fall asleep. Also, I felt really bloated and kept having to get up and pee. Maybe this was the radishes I ate earlier? I have no idea. I turned the tv back on and watched true blood, but still didn’t feel sleepy. I ended up going back out to the couch and watching tv and playing solitaire on my phone for a while and then I fell asleep. Wednesday night I also had trouble sleeping, but that was because I woke up when I started to feel extremely nauseous in my sleep. The sudden wave of nausea is what woke me up. I had trouble falling back to sleep after that because feeling nauseous all of the sudden like that made me feel anxious, plus I felt like I couldn’t turn on the tv in the middle of the night since it would wake Jesse. I played on my phone a little (this iphone has been really useful!) but still didn’t get sleepy. I laid there for about an hour and a half and then went out to the couch, watched some true blood and played on my phone, and fell back to sleep around 4:30am. Needless to say, getting up at 6am sucked and I was very tired and cranky all day on Thursday. I went to bed about 8:15pm, slept til about 10:30pm, got up to take out my contacts and pee and went right back to sleep. I got up once more to pee during the night. Woke up at 5am feeling totally rested. Went back to sleep til my alarm went off at 6:05am and then hit snooze once.

I think those two nights were kind of due to strange circumstances, but all the same I have been making an effort not to fall asleep on the couch before going to bed. Hopefully it will continue to go well. It seems to be going well in general. On another note, I have lost 5.2 pounds since 6/20/11, which I think is pretty darn good considering I have had many cheat days and haven’t been exercising at all. I plan to work some exercise back into my daily routine soon.

It's sunday. on Thursday night I went down to 100mg of trazodone. Everything is going well so far. I have noticed that since I went down from 150mg of trazodone that I have had a lot more energy and feel less drowsy during the day. Generally I wake up feeling rested after 7 - 7.5 hours of sleep. On the weekends I go back to sleep for 2-3 more though :-)  Still falling asleep watching true blood and with my contacts in.

Tonight will be one week since I went down to 125mg of Trazodone. I have generally slept well every night and have been waking up after 7 hours or so feeling rested. Of course I always lay in bed until about 5 minutes past the time I have to get up anyway. I should mention that I have been falling asleep watching True Blood in the bedroom and that I still leave my contacts in. Last night Jesse was making a bunch of noise that woke me up and I had a little trouble falling back to sleep because he came to bed then and started snoring, but I got up and took 2 more Benadryl and was able to fall asleep.

night # 2 at 125mg of trazodone went well :-) slept well, fell asleep right away both initially and after getting up to pee. woke up after about 7.5 hours but went back to sleep for 3 more :-)

Well I have been sleeping well for a few weeks now, so I decided to start stepping down on the trazodone. Last night I took 125mg instead of 150 and I slept fine. Hopefully it stays that way. Lately I have been waking up about ½ hour or 45 minutes before it’s time to get up and feeling pretty rested. Of course I don’t actually get up until the alarm goes off and then some, but it is nice to feel rested. It’s usually after about 7 – 7.5 hours of sleep. Still taking 10mg Celexa and 2 benadryl. My mood has been good.

Sleep is still going well :-) Fall asleep easily, go back to sleep easily after getting up to pee. Sleep as long as I want. Feel rested. Mood has been good. Have not made any changes to meds since last time I wrote. I should mention that today has been two weeks since I gave up caffeine. I had really bad headaches for a couple of days but since then I've been fine. I did cheat one day and had 2 cans of coke zero. I was starving and falling asleep at work. I could really feel the caffeine hit me after that. Before, when I was drinking about a million gallons a day, I never noticed the caffeine at all. That was my only cheat. I also gave up other diet pop, at least on a regular basis. I have had some the last few days that we've been working on the roof and when we went to someone's house for dinner, but in general I am not buying or drinking it. I'm trying to stick with water. Also, I lost 3.2 pounds in the first 12 days of my diet! I'm pretty sure I gained some back in the last two days because working on the roof in the hot sun and having a house full of goodies to feed the people helping with it led me to overeat and eat a lot of junk food. I was going to restart my diet today but I am so tired and sore that I just don't care. I want a steak. I will definitely be back on the diet as of Wednesday when I go back to work. Overall, things are going well.

Hello hello,

It’s been almost a month since I wrote, but it has been a good month. In the beginning of June I went back up to 10mg of Celexa. I have basically been sleeping like a baby and in a much, much better mood since then. I slept well on the trip to NYC and I started sleeping in the bedroom again when I got home. I generally fall asleep right away, after I watch a little Seinfeld and play a little solitaire on my phone, and I sleep all night. There was just one night that I was woken up in the middle of the night by the dog barking and couldn’t fall back asleep for a couple hours and had to go out to the couch. My mood has been so much better too :-) yay!  

It’s Thursday. Last day of work before vacation. It’s been 6 nights/7days at 10mg of Celexa instead of 5. I have been sleeping well, although still on the couch. I fall asleep right away and have woken up a little before my alarm every day this week. I have also been feeling way better this week than I have for the last month in terms of energy and mood. I don’t know if it’s because I have had kind of a lot of time off work to recoup or because of the medication or both, but I have had a lot more energy and have been in a much better mood. I have been working out again after work and in general feeling happy and not stressed, exhausted and rather hateful like had been feeling for about a month before. Yay :-)

Well, after a rough month at 5mg of celexa i saw the dr and am going to go back to 10mg. i have slept well since then, although still on the couch. when I get home from nyc I'm going to sleep in the bed again. i'm going to try to get off the trazodone before the celexa this time. wish me luck.

Hi. It's Tuesday 5/31. This is my 6th day in a row off work. I was supposed to be feeling rested and getting stuff done that I have been meaning to do and generally feeling refreshed before heading back to some more very busy weeks at work. Instead I feel like crap. I slept like a rock last Wednesday night and felt great on my day off on Thursday. I also slept well Thursday night and even woke up earlier than I had planned for a day of shopping on Friday. Friday I was exhausted from shopping and slept pretty well. Saturday I slept til like 10 and I had trouble falling asleep before 1:00am Saturday night, but this was probably because I was caught up on my sleep and not really tired. Sunday Jesse kind of freaked out about me not even trying to sleep in the bed (I had been planning to try to sleep in the bed once we got the tv set up in there, but there was a problem with our new tv and we had to return it so one didn't get set up in there). He set up the old tv from downstairs in the bedroom and I tried to sleep in the bed that night watching seinfeld in the bed. I dozed off next to him a couple of times, probably for like 45 minutes each time, but the second time I couldn't go back to sleep because I just felt awake. After an hour or so I went out to the couch but by 4:30 I got really upset and started crying and woke Jesse up. I cried for a while and he gave me a back rub and I was finally able to fall back asleep, sometime around 6am I would guess. I slept til 10. Of course over this time I also came down with a sore throat/cold, which is also making me feel tired. I felt dead tired all day on Monday but still managed to do some things. I started to feel better around 7pm and took the dog for a long walk. After I took a shower I felt really tired again, like I could've keeled over any second, but we stayed up to watch an episode of law and order svu and then we went to watch seinfeld in bed. I couldn't fall asleep. Didn't even feel tired. When Jesse started snoring I went out to the couch. This was round 12:30. Last time I looked at the clock was 4:38am. I might've dozed off for a few minutes here and there, but I was up to go to the bathroom every half hour. Basically wide awake. I don't know what to do with myself when this happens. I don't want to get up in the middle of the night and do something around the house. Watching tv doesn't help. Sometimes playing solitaire on my phone makes me drowsy. I haven't tried reading again so I will try that soon. Anyway i finally went to sleep I guess sometime before 5:00am and slept til 10am. I still have a sore throat and physically I feel like crap. I am tired and my throat hurts. Mentally I feel even worse. I realize that in the grand scheme of things my problems are miniscule, but it is so frustrating to try to go to bed at a decent hour and then lay awake ALL NIGHT, sleep late and waste most of the day and then still feel like crap. I feel like crying. I dont want to do anything that I wanted to do th is weekend. This not falling asleep til morning and then sleeping til 10am allows me to function enough on days off, but when I have to get up at 5:30am the next 3 days it's going to be a real problem if I can't fall asleep til 4:30am. I feel very depressed about this. I am still taking 5mg Celexa, 150mg of Trazodone, and 2 benadryl. How am I ever going to be able to get off trazodone when I can't even get off the Celexa? I should've done things the other way around because I could still get pregnant while on Celexa but not on Trazodone. I feel like I am never going to be able to get off these pills and sleep and not sleeping ruins my life. Plus i have the trip to NYC coming up in less than 2 weeks and I have no idea how I'm going to be able to sleep while there and I'm afraid the trip will be ruined. And earlier in the year I had wanted to try to get pregnant when I got home from NYC and now I know that's just not going to happen anytime soon. I dont even feel ready now with all of these issues in my head. I have been feeling very down the last month or so since I cut back to 5mg of Celexa. I am not sure if it's because of the insomnia or being tired from having to put in OT at work and travel for work and generally not having a lot of time for anything. I am sure it is a comibination. I dont know what to do. I just want to cry.

Monday. Slept on the couch last night. Took me a bout half an hour to fall asleep, but after that I slept well.

Hello Sunday. The last two nights have been rough. Friday night I decided that I was going to try to sleep in the bed. I've been sleeping fine on the couch for a long time so I thought I could transition to the bed. Big mistake. I got sleepy playing games on my phone but I laid down to go to sleep and no luck. This was about 11pm. About 12:30 I gave up and went out to the couch. Still couldn't fall asleep. Watched Seinfeld, played solitaire on my phone, all the things that have been helping me sleep recently. No luck. Around 3:00am I started crying and went to wake Jesse up. I laid with him for a while, crying, and then I took half a xanax and went back out to the couch. The last time I looked at the clock it was 3:38am. I slept til about 10:00, but was still very tired from the whole ordeal. We had stuff to do and at about 2:00pm I was able to take a nap for a hour and felt a lot better. Went out with friends for dinner. Got home about 11:00pm and tried to sleep on the couch. Stressed out about the inicident from the night before and couldn't fall asleep again. Finally fell asleep a little after 1am and slept til about 9:45am. I am pretty bummed out about this turn of events.

Friday. Slept really well last night. On the couch again of course. I didn’t go to bed til almost 11, but I still woke up at 5:45am feeling rested. Tonight I will try sleeping in the bed.

Thursday. Slept well on the couch. Fell asleep around 9:45pm. I think I fell asleep playing solitaire on my phone because when I woke up to go to the bathroom at about 12:30am my phone was on the couch still. I went right back to sleep and even woke up about 15 minutes before I had to get up.